Sexual Assault is Not Romantic

Sexual assault will not always look violent, but will always be violent. In fact, sexual assault will most of the time not look violent at all. It takes a lot of strength (both emotional and physical), presence of mind and bravery, to react adequately to sexual assault. The adequate reaction can vary from a slap in the face or other physical manifestations to a scream, a police report, or even the use of a weapon. When the victim does not possess those qualities, which is the case most of the time, they will endure the assault, waiting for a chance to escape without bigger consequences, out of fear of escalation of violence and social and emotional discomfort and trauma.

Our civilization has conditioned us to think that it is normal for the male to do the first move and the more passionate the move, the more romantic it will be. Well, this needs to change. Because it is not only not true, but, worse: it still feels true. The victim of a sexual assault may have been so deeply conditioned to believe that gross lie that they might even feel some kind of pleasure during the assault, despite being deeply hurt and traumatized.

I have no knowledge on how it deploys in other configurations and this is not a scientific paper, so please excuse me for talking only about the configuration I know from experience: the male on female assault.

Dear male assailants, when the female is avoiding your kiss, pushing away your hand, telling you even in the most delicate and gentle tone to stop, please start listening to her. She is not playing hard to get. If she did want you, she would show it to you without you assaulting her. She might even eventually take your kiss, even kiss back out of fear or hoping that that way the assault will end sooner, but it will still be an assault. She might even let you do more and even reciprocate your advances, but it will still be an assault, because it started as an assault.

Because our civilization was created mostly on male rules of conduct, most of you male assailants will not even realize that you are assailants. This letter is hoping to be a step in you realizing that. Please, be gentle. Please, be careful.

This is not a game. And it is not romantic or exciting.

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Published in: on April 19, 2018 at 9:55 pm  Leave a Comment  
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“Lafayette” Day 8

Day 6 and 7 I recorded some sound for the movie and on day 8 we spent a couple of hours in beautiful Ashland, where I filmed that:

Published in: on May 6, 2015 at 8:35 pm  Leave a Comment  

“Lafayette” Day 5

Today, I am not needed on set, so I went on a bike ride. I feel so grateful to be able to be here and explore beautiful Oregon, hang out with deer, hummingbirds and other wild creatures and stay in this beautiful house where we’re filming.

Bike riding, especially in the countryside and on hilly landscape, gives me the best feeling, it’s hard uphill and what a reward downhill, my body feels rejuvenated and my skin inhales the sun and the flowers. So lucky, so grateful.

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Published in: on May 1, 2015 at 9:58 pm  Comments (1)  

Je suis Charlie

Disbelief, confusion, extreme sadness, despair, is some of the emotions I felt when I heard about the Charlie Hebdo murders today.

Those people where not only journalists, they were artists, they were culture, they were this part of our world that not only helps us understand it but also bear with it. They were bringing a touch of pleasure to people’s lives, they were bringing them laughs, they were fighting for a free world where nothing was strong enough to frighten them. Why would artists have to be afraid of anything?

If the murderers are caught, I do not wish them above all things to be “prosecuted” and “punished” as we could hear throughout the day from different people (the president among others), what is punishment anyway? I do hope they can be interrogated, I do hope they can be understood, the root of the problem has to be found. I would really love to know what is going on in their heads. “God is great”? “We have avenged the prophet”? They were acting in full control, prepared, they must have planned this for a while, because of what? Because of a hierarchical world where some values are sacred, more sacred than others? Values? A culture of values against a nihilist culture where nothing is sacred anymore? Which is which?

Who is guilty here? Young people lost in their lives? Products of a former colonialist country? Products of a religion? Or is the religion a mean for them to canalize their inner demon?

Maybe they were acting for a world of “values”. I do not know. All I know is that those murderers forgot about the most important of values: life. That is the fundamental right of every sentient being to bodily integrity. Nothing is more sacred than that.

 

Published in: on January 7, 2015 at 8:05 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Waking up to spirituality without religion

“The aims of spirituality are not exactly those of science, but neither are they unscientific”.

With Waking Up, Sam Harris achieves something that has been needed for a long time in our modern society: to combine a secular spirituality with the reason of science. Of course, there have been spiritual scientists before, like Carl Sagan or Albert Einstein among others, but they often tended to be mystical in their approach and delivery, which is something Harris succeeded in, if I may, demystifying… Maybe it is due to his dual formation of philosopher and scientist, renewing with the lost tradition of the likes of Descartes and Lucretius, in times where one usually always was both – of course there was less science to grasp then, so the task was easier…

For Harris, it all started with MDMA… Another success of this great book, is how this prominent intellectual speaks openly about drugs and their powerful role in opening people’s minds. “The “war on drugs” has been lost and should never have been waged”.

It is of crucial importance that our society understands that by being spiritual – in a non religious way – they can improve not only their own life but those of other sentient beings, including, of course, the non human animals, and also improve the condition of our environment. It is a subject Sam Harris doesn‘t go too much into details, but, if I may, I would like to add that the logical consequence of spirituality is compassion, and one of the biggest compassionate impact we can have on the world is to boycott animal products, because by doing so we spare countless lives lived in suffering, we save gallons of water and trees, etc, etc, the benefits are too long to list here but worth looking in to.

I really hope this marvelous book helps people enter into a better world, for everybody’s sake.
Published in: on December 28, 2014 at 4:45 am  Leave a Comment  
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Hello from New York

A quick hello from Central Park with a link to a video I took part in and my interview for Backstage:

Published in: on December 22, 2014 at 7:58 am  Leave a Comment  
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Live Laugh Love

I am very excited to be shooting my first american movie as a director this weekend.

Check out the publicity stills Michelle Morgan took for us today:

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Published in: on November 8, 2014 at 3:56 am  Comments (1)  

Amazon

On a recent trip to Peru, my friends and I were given a blessing by an amazonian shaman – he told us that from now on everything will be alright in our life, including our career and love life.

Right after the trip, the first audition I got was for a play about super women and I landed the part of a super woman called Amazon…

Published in: on October 23, 2014 at 3:30 am  Leave a Comment  

Sharon Tate: Recollection

L.A. Woman

I was 16 when I became a fan of Sharon Tate and she remains my biggest inspiration to this day. Her unbelievable beauty, kindness, angelic aura and talent are something I look up to and make me want to be a better person every day.

I’ve been waiting for Debra Tate’s book about her sister for more than 10 years and it is a book I deeply needed because it shows the light and love of Sharon’s life.

At the Book Soup, Debra answered a Q&A before a crowd of Sharon’s fans in a graceful and moving way, there was true magic and reverence in the air.

After the Q&A, Debra devotedly signed everyone’s book and posed for pictures and had warm words for each of us. She even reached to my arm when I told her how much Sharon means to me and told me it would mean Sharon…

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Published in: on June 18, 2014 at 5:39 pm  Leave a Comment  

Contribute to my novel “Domaine”

See if you want to support my work on a novel about the power of freedom and compassion:

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I just received a contribution by Luke Nysen and am deeply grateful and thankful to him.

Update:

I have received three new contributions! My deep thanks and gratitude go to an anonymous contributor, to Justin Valis and to Kathy Schramm.

It is amazing and beautiful to see that people support my art, it gives me all the more strength and inspiration to make it great and valuable.

Off to write now.

Published in: on March 25, 2014 at 3:59 pm  Leave a Comment